You and I

2009-06-29T16:42:00.001+08:00

OMG I CAN FINALLY ACCESS BLOGGER AFTER AN ALMOST-1-SEMESTER HIATUS.
Oh well. I've moved over to Windows Live anyway. Click here if you don't know it yet.

2009-05-15T06:29:00.002+08:00

heal
I am going jogging later! I like what I am doing.
Jogging + study + lunch + hang out with _____. Spending time with people you want to rocks.
Rain, rain, please stay away, I don't want you dampening my feet!

2009-05-13T22:04:00.002+08:00

sin título
Today Alison told me something so funny, I couldn't believe my ears. Ok, to me it was funny, but it shocked her at first. Sorry, Ali, but I will tell you about something that big ;)
To cease being all mysterious, I shall move on to another topic.
Q: What does Vitamin A, K, and the prostate have in common?
A: They're all on the same page of my Chem notes.
Did you know the prostate hormone doesn't come from the prostate?
And 40%-50% of the Vitamin K in our bodies are produced by intestinal germs(肠道细菌).
Veerrry interesting...
I am now teddy-bear free.

2009-05-12T17:52:00.002+08:00

我讨厌Doppler, Hubble, 和什么鬼A8沟。氢、氦、共振反应！！要疯了。中微子、质子、原子。。。这些都是基层而已。等我读到氨基酸、酶、镁，我就一定疯掉。
Today in Psychology I learnt more about Freud and his psycho analyses. Oops, I mean psychoanalysis. A guy who can be so obsessed about sex and aggression must be out of whack, yet he managed to persuade and convince a whole generation. That influence still exists today, 70 years after his death. Freudian slips, sibling rivalry, etc. Sure, I might have some disagreements with his theories (as do many critics), but I gotta give him some respect for his power to sway the world.

2009-05-11T13:37:00.003+08:00

muchas gracias a ti
剩一个月就是期末考试了。我就升大二了！时间过得太快，总是觉得还没真正浸入大学生活。不是适应的问题，只是每一天，每一秒都不知去了哪儿。我老了！！
So I better go study. 1 month will pass by as quickly, and then I'll be home :)
It's funny what I miss of Singapore. Not the food, not the places, but the small, seemingly unimportant activities such as playing badminton with my mom, going to the fruit stall downstairs and buying 5 apples for S$2 (has the price changed?). I don't miss the heat much though. Today, in Shanghai, temperatures hit 34 deg C. And it felt that hot!

2009-05-08T19:46:00.003+08:00

the ultimate siren
It's going to be a conscious cultivation, a sacrifice of current habits. But the reward will, hopefully, be much more than what I expected.
My stomach hurts.

2009-05-07T21:50:00.003+08:00

i saw alison and elaine naked.
And that was the highlight of the trip!
Just kidding. About the highlight part. Korean bath-houses are great fun, and relaxing as well. The atmosphere, the facilities, the bodies...
Anyway Seoul was amazing, and I don't think I saw that much! Universities, palaces (ok, just one), the people...
The people. Honestly. Can a whole nation be filled with such stylish people? Isn't there a saturation rate or something? Everywhere I go I see gorgeous clothes on equally good looking people. It's unfair, I tell you. During those 6 days I felt so disgusting. That's right.
Ah but still, I enjoyed myself immensely. Thanks to my 2 very good Seoulmates (copyright!) who were great companions with great bodies, I must say ;)

2009-04-27T19:20:00.002+08:00

divinggggggg
Talking to divers, and seeing dive pics, just reminds me of how deprived a soul I am. To throw a whole gallon of oil + all my fats into the fire, today's lesson (Chemistry & Life) had to be about Nitrogen and Oxygen. Naturally, the teacher talked about diving and how the gases affect divers. ARRRGGHHHH
When I go back to Singapore, I am going to dive dive divedivedive. Sipadan, Bali, Manado please! And of course, my weekends must be spent in Tioman/Aur. :D
And in October during Golden Wk, I wanna be with my sis in Australia, diving and getting skin cancer in the Aussie sun.
Sounds good?
********
Went to the Auto Expo today. More people than cars!! But, whatever cars I managed to see were great. Photos on FB soon

2009-04-26T13:28:00.002+08:00

call me... jade
Early last semester, Elaine was visiting me at the dorm, so she signed in. Having to write the host's name, she promptly wrote 郑缘玉. The surname is right, but she changed my name to 'Destiny's Jade'. How beautiful, no? I like the name, Jade.
Jaaaaaaaaaaade.
With a new name (if I remember using it), am I going to be a different person? I liked Yuen Yi. I like YY too. Jade....

2009-04-25T16:13:00.002+08:00

when it's cold
I clench my teeth until my jaw aches. And that's when I realize I've been clenching.
Cycling in the rain, one hand grips the left handlebar and the other holds my umbrella. It's only when I feel my nails digging into my right palm that I discover how firmly I held the umbrella.
When something takes up more concentration in your mind, nothing else matters until they bite you in the ass.
Case in point, essays that are due next week. They're not letting go of my lower cheeks.

2009-04-23T22:02:00.002+08:00

if..
..a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you? -If (Bread)
..a kiss was just a kiss, would people attach emotional sentiment to it?
..interaction between people take place too rapidly, is the process of forgetting someone even quicker?
..watching death the first time was easy, does it get easier?
..we hadn't bought Wabbit, would it still be alive?

2009-04-23T15:47:00.002+08:00

heehee
Seoul in 8 days!
호어쟘캐타초푸,주 디쿄!!
I type Korean!
And a Korean will know that the above does not make sense. Fun, though. Korean font is pretty.

2009-04-20T18:09:00.002+08:00

an observation

Spring is beautiful. The once-bare, white-trunked trees lining the school grounds are now canopied by lush, undescribably beautiful green leaves. The bark is a healthy dark--almost black--brown. Flowers have blossomed, adding vibrant colour to the dull grey of school buildings.
But, the Shanghai wind and rain beats down mercilessly on the fragile petals, and they have no choice but to submit to nature's will. Now, bike tyres roll over the white and pink petals strewn all over the cement ground, and the trees cry silently for what belonged to them.

2009-04-18T21:58:00.002+08:00

boom boom

We have a rabbit now. We being Alison and I. The new addition in the room is Wabbit, coined by Ali. Being a 'Chinese' rabbit, he naturally has a Chinese name too-- Xiao Tian Tian (Little Sweetness). Adorable! Loves pears and parsley. Not carrots though. Hmm...

Wacky Saturday!!!! Time is now...unreal.

2009-04-16T21:49:00.002+08:00

eat chocolate

I am a puller-and-pusher. Looking back, I see a me that I miss, and yet am happy to break free from. Looking at myself now, I'm happy but I know this can't last. Looking forwards...nothing is clear.
This means that everyday, I am stumbling in the fog, hands outstretched and feeling, hoping and praying that this path will bring me to an okay finale.
People around me have night-vision glasses; perfect clarity even in the blackest of nights. Maybe I have those glasses too, except I have yet to switch them on.
One last thing-- it's difficult to be intimate and detached at the same time. Or maybe it's too easy; you tuck your heart away somewhere and never let it be seen. That way, the good is preserved and the evil world cannot taint it. Yes, indeed, too easy.

2009-04-15T10:28:00.002+08:00

i'm going to korea! i'm going to korea!

Specifically, Seoul, during the labour day holidays. Oh yeah or what!? So excited. Hopefully this trip won't be as screwed up as the Xi'an one. Hahaha
Right now I'm looking at accommodation, attractions and the whole she-bang! Some of our seniors are going next week, which means they'll be able to give us details too. Yay for Shanghai being so close to Korea, Japan, Taiwan...

2009-04-13T13:21:00.002+08:00

Colombia vs Columbia
One of them is the country. Confusing, no?
Spring has finally arrived, and along with it came the spring rain. I guess I can't pack my raincoat into the depths of my wardrobe with the rest of my winter coats then. Dratted rain!

No tengo mucho sucesos (to write about). Heheh

2009-04-11T12:25:00.003+08:00

urbi et orbi

The problem with being in China during Passion week is the lack of signs that it's Passion week! Easter bunnies and candies dominate; in fact it's so low-key that the church didn't even have a Good Friday service this year :( Thank God for cell-group and my mom (she texted me last Sunday telling me it was Palm Sunday). And thank God too for bringing me to China and not India or something, where Christians were persecuted and killed, and churches were burnt down. <-- that's a prayer request for the Christians in India.
Last year during Easter I was at Redang, diving. This year during Easter I will go to church and celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

To the city and the world.

2009-04-09T19:08:00.002+08:00

ramblings in a sleepy state

Time: 19.10.
Location: 4106
Lesson: 当代中国政治制度
Blogs are public journals; what an oxymoron! Like 'business ethics' and 'airplane food'.
As this post is going to be a rambling one, expect disjointed paragraphs, poor grammar and a general sense of confusion. I don't know what I is writing too.
Was talking to a friend just now and I might have said the wrong thing. It's hard to swallow, but love means sacrifice. One's happiness is found in others. Painful truth, no doubt, but like what I heard today, sometimes closing one eye is insufficient; just close both eyes to avoid reality.

I lack a muse

2009-04-08T22:19:00.002+08:00

jusssst kidding
I need a space to word-vomit I guess. Not writing drove me crazy for a while. Today I was feeling evil and heinous for saying mean things and I am goingtoconfessfatherihavesinnedhowmanyhailmarysmustisay
See, that's a word vomit. There, feeling much better now.
Recently I've noticed that I start smiling/grinning when I see babies. I am appalled-- what happened to the girl who thought babies/toddlers/anyone aged 15 and below were repugnant? Are my *gasp* maternal instincts kicking in??
Cross my fingers and hope it's the hormones.

Regarding the new and boring standard blog template, it's an attempt to seem more...mature. Now people focus on CONTENT (aka this) rather than THE SUNNY YELLOW FLOWER (aka the sunny yellow flower). Naturally, one shouldn't expect an overnight maturation of content. Now what did they say about Rome...

Shall we discuss politics? North Korea? Chavez? ASEAN? Or economics? (Fill in the blanks) Or Barbie shop? I went to Barbie shop on Monday with Alison and Elaine. Overpriced clothes but nice dolls. I'm loving my Vega :) The flocks of girls and their parents (and sulky elder bros) were in the way though.

That's it. Now that I've finally got a commenting place, please do!

2009-04-04T13:49:00.001+08:00

on hiatus
Sometimes I want to start a whole new blog. But this one has...too many memories.
I'm gonna be on a break for a while.

2009-04-01T16:44:00.002+08:00

MY AIM
Georgetown University's Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service.
Master of Science (Foreign Service)
Now that I've got a goal, it's time to work towards it. Wish me luck! :)

2009-03-30T22:34:00.003+08:00

tres asuntos
1. Went for dinner with Wei Kai's Korean friends today and it was fun :)
2. Mira, and listen up guys. All girls are NOT PSYCHOB****ES. What's with guys and their refusal to talk about (new) girlfriends with their exes? You think us girls will stalk you/them or something? When a girl asks about her, it's out of politeness, we don't actually give a ****. You're not THAT important; we move along just fine.
3. I am having a good time now. Might not be the best for my health, but I am trying to do daily devotion and I know God loves me.
Now, to explain this rant. See numero uno/de primero. Koreans= soju. Woohoo
Good day tomorrow!

2009-03-28T20:14:00.002+08:00

call the shots
I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor's my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
-Circus (Britney Spears)

Este es mi vida. I'm lovin' it.

2009-03-27T16:19:00.002+08:00

i looked up
Yesterday afternoon, Leon, Weixuan and I went to Guanghua Lou's grass patch and just sat there, enjoying the sunshine and the breeze. Felt so much like a college student-- that pose where I'm laying on my side, book in one hand, head resting in another. Now I truly am a university student. :D
It's not in Singaporeans' nature to sit on grass or anything that might be muddy/soggy/full of ants and worms and unseen creatures. Over here though, I'm thankful for the space and ant-less grass. But not for that worm poking it's head/tail up from the ground. Yuck.

On to other stuff, PM Lee reshuffled the Singapore Parliament with some major changes. It was pretty sudden, no? Keep an eye on what's to come...

2009-03-23T23:17:00.002+08:00

change starts slow
But I'm getting there!
I've cut my nails short, shortest in months. MONTHS.
I have set myself a weekly budget.
I studied!
(Well, obviously, cos I am a student. :p )

I stained my fingers a dirty black
Ink rubbed into the fine lines, creating a maze of swirls and circles
What used to be opinions, gossip, facts, prints
Became a temporal part of me
Until it washed away in a grey lather

2009-03-22T06:29:00.003+08:00

4th straight day
Ad seen in a Shanghai-based weekly mag (Personals):

Hot Girl
A young Chinese girl looking for someone to keep her warm at night. I have been feeling lonely since my stupid Dutch/Chinese boyfriend dumped me and stole my wireless router.
Please please call me if you want some fun with a young and innocent girl!

L.O.L.
L.O.L.
I love how the bf stole the wireless router. Puts the cherry on the cake doesn't it. No wonder he dumped her, she must have been one ***** if she could reduce her relationship to a wireless router. Hey, and if the bf is really stupid, why hang on to him?
Oh yes, and why mention the bf's nationality/ethnicity? Is she saying that Dutch/Chinese guys are jerks? Or that she, a Chinese girl, snagged a half angmoh?
And, I love the double 'please' too. Makes her sound absolutely desperate. She musn't have air-conditioning/heater in her room then, otherwise she wouldn't be in such dire need to be kept 'warm at night'.
Honestly, how can people be as thick-skinned to write such stuff about themselves and have a large audience view it, I have no idea.

2009-03-19T17:10:00.003+08:00

happiness to me
I get the most curious satisfaction when shopping in a supermarket. Like last night, when I was getting shampoo, bath foam, listerine, etc. Felt so domestic!
It's the size of it, the huge variety of stuff, that gives me the tingles. More so than seeing the 'Sale' sign at H&M or Zara.
Maybe.
On to other stuff, a person can be so sweet to greet you with breakfast! ;) *hintAli*
********
El amor tiene fácil la entrada y difícil la salida.
Love is easy to fall into and difficult to fall out of

2009-03-17T14:20:00.002+08:00

blurry
I like this!

At East Lake

Shaoxing was fun :)

2009-03-10T17:31:00.002+08:00

aquí empieza entonces otra etapa de mi vida

But I never forget my priorities. Image is one thing; truth is another.

I'm watching Lie to Me now (Fox TV), and it's G-O-O-D. Everyone who watches it will become a lie-detector of some sort!

2009-03-09T14:11:00.003+08:00

It's torture.

I miss scuba so much. Tioman. I miss Tioman, Sun Beach Resort, the ice kacang, the roti bom, Deep Blue, the people, everything. That's where I want to be right now. The beautiful sunshine and blue skies in Shanghai today just make me miss all that even more.

I want my XTX-200. I want my Stiletto. My Thermal Tec. Oh yeah, my hot bod as well ;p

Onto other dive news, a fatal accident marred the supposed-to-be joyous occasion of a new dive season. The details of the accident are not confirmed, but condolences to the girl's family. The scuba family is small but growing; we have to look out for one another. And of course, dive insurance is NOT 'extravagant and unnecessary'! Go get insurance now.

I WANT TO GO FOR ADEX 2009!!!!!!!!!! I BELONG THERE!!! Or rather, I used to.

Right now, where do I belong? Do I fit anywhere anymore? (Dondequiera)

It's been awhile since I had a scuba-related post. Finally.

(The trade-off? My manicure has stayed on for almost 2 weeks now. That Huaihai underground shop is GOOD)

OMG I'm kidding. What sort of trade-off is that.

2009-03-07T14:21:00.002+08:00

rebuilding

After an extremely enlightening conversation yesterday, I've come to realize that people crave rule-breaking. If something's veiled in secrecy, its temptation is irresistable.

I was read like a book yesterday. Even better than my own understanding of myself. And upon reflection, it was a necessary metaphoric 'flipping of pages'. Heightened connection settled upon me and I was touched, stripped of my fragile strength.

It's not that from now on, I won't cheat or be tempted to cheat. It's human nature. But so too, is morality (like Adam Smith wrote). And despite the temptations surrounding me, because you're on to me, I'll hold out a little bit longer.

I'm starting to treasure what I have. It's a new step for me, a venture into uncharted waters. It's exciting, and I'm glad not to be alone.

********

Onto other news, Fudan party tonight!

2009-03-04T15:43:00.002+08:00

i am self-centred

The Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) started yesterday, and the National People's Congress (NPC) starts tomorrow. So far the focus is on economic growth amid the global recession.

My short attention span prevents me from sitting through something that has nothing to do with me (my self-centredness comes into play too).

You never do what others tell you to do

Nice Spanish session yesterday :)

mi vida es una farsa

2009-03-02T18:28:00.002+08:00

Engineering in NTU must be tough

Click here for the news article (Yahoo Singapore).

What's it with students/schools that causes people to react so violently and tragically? Or more accurately, what is the reason behind the incident (speculations flying everywhere now I'd bet)? Psychological trauma, mental disorder or emotional scarring?

People will judge the student for his actions. And maybe a note/letter will be found. But the dead can never defend themselves with justice, I think.

2009-03-01T18:29:00.002+08:00

if you read this...

i'm not moving, cos' one day you'll wake up

最近反复思考，这种不断地期盼、等待是不可以延续下去的。

这世界有几种人。第一种总是怀旧，后悔以前的一切，希望奇迹会出现，让他们回到过去。另一种人就顾着目前，如何吃喝享受，醉也罢，死也罢，这一秒过得开心就行了。又有一种人不断地计划将来的道路，所有的细节都画得整整齐齐，有条有理。

我不能说哪一种人好，哪一种坏。因为我不相信人生就只有这几种。多数人觉得为未来计划是个很有远视的做法。对，但那不代表这样做是最好的。

自己有时在这三种生活方式之间‘跳槽’吧。可是还是觉得缺少了某些东西。

有一点是肯定的--如果你回来，我会跟随你。

or is it me who has to wake up?

2009-03-01T11:11:00.002+08:00

ooh-wee

It's March! Marzo! 三月！Of 2009...

In the presence of great beauty you find extreme pain. Except of course, in Jesus. For He is the ultimate beauty and is surrounded with joy.

(hee hee. That doesn't really sound like me does it)

On the last day of February I was thinking of

Anneeewayyy, my Psych textbook by David G Myers finally arrived! (Thanks Leon!) It's pretty and thick and hardcovered, and I will read it. ;p

Church today, then some Fudan Int'l students mixerrrr. Hmm. I'll go with you for the sake of _____. HAHA

2009-02-27T05:06:00.000+08:00

what am i doing

Huh. I don't know. Just...weirdness.

2009-02-25T20:24:00.003+08:00

咸鱼白菜也好好味

歌曲：分分钟需要你 (歌手：林子祥)

愿我会揸火箭带你到天空去

在太空中两人住

活到一千岁都一般心醉

有你在身边多乐趣

共你双双对好得尺好得意

地暗天昏当闲事

就算翻风雨只需睇到你

似见阳光千万里

有了你开心d 乜部都称心满意

咸鱼白菜也好好味

我与你永共聚分分钟需要你

你似是阳光空气

扮靓d皆因你癫癫地皆因你

为你甘心做傻事

扮下猩猩叫睇到乜都笑

有你在身边多乐趣

若有朝失左你花开都不美

愿到荒岛去长住

做个假的你天天都相对

对木头公仔做戏

What an interesting song. Sounds terrible in Putonghua though.

The last paragraph translates roughly to this:

If I lose you one day, flowers in bloom wouldn't seem pretty

I'd rather live on a deserted island

Make a replica of you and look at it everyday

Acting and pretending in front of a wooden puppet

(Sounds stalker-ish! Haha)

********

I feel better knowing you care.

Yesterday in the cab I tore out a sticker

2009-02-23T16:31:00.002+08:00

buggery rain

The rain. My throat. Those pills.

La lluvia. Mi garganta. Esas píldoras.

¿Cómo se dice 'It has been raining the past few days' en Español?

Tengo dolor de garganta. Ouch.

********

化学与生命中的元素。这一课其实不容易。到底在哪儿下载教材？？

我想睡觉。但还有很多东西该做。YY，加油！（但别加太多，太肥了。）

2009-02-21T23:47:00.002+08:00

I am going to start on a project.

It won't bring profit or tangible returns, but it's something I want to do. Better than spending time and money on things that harm ourselves right?

(another step forward to the blossoming of YY)

It's gonna be quite a long-term thing, requiring dedication and commitment. Yay

I'll start now.

2009-02-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

otra vez

First week down, 19 more to go. Maybe I'm going through withdrawal symptoms.

Today's lesson was good though, brought back certain events in the past that brought a wistful smile to my face. Something like this :)

Emptiness. Solo con...nada.

2009-02-20T08:28:00.002+08:00

facebook is my breakfast

I imagine...

A beach of horlicks 3-in-1 powder. My feet sink into that fine sand. The beach smells malty. Sandcastles will be eaten after they're made, and the sea will be tinted a milky brown due to the dissolution of the peripheral sand.

********

School's been sort of hectic. I realize I have insufficient time to truly study, so how can I go out? Ah, but knowing me, I have yet to sort out my priorities.

I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of _____!

2009-02-17T21:42:00.002+08:00

and this goes on and on...

While my roomie is out of the room talking on the phone, I am in watching Spanish movies. So far I've devoured Amores Perros (¡Me gusta!) and Volver (hot Penelope. What's not to like.), and I've got a few more to go. But I'm not wasting time, because I do pick up stuff like differences in Mexican Spanish and Spanish Spanish. Cool huh

Ok. After talking to my roomie about _____, I realize I do miss having someone to talk to. MSN, emails just don't cut it. And that's why long-d never works.

********

Off to listen to Spanish audio podcasts. Adios y buenas noches.

2009-02-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

i'll repeat this here again:

(why? cos' I think I sound wise! Hahaha) Now that I know what true feelings are, I know that if you're really into that person, you'll drop everything else in a second.

So to you (yes, you know it's you!), sometimes you have to be tough on yourself and the other party. Being too kind means getting hurt yourself.

Of course, my wisdom applies to other people as well :) Don't hesitate.

********

First day of school today, and I've got homework already! During the foot massage tonight I was called a 'chao mugger' by Weibiao. Yes, I'm trying to be very hardworking this semester. Hope I don't burn out. Leon, I heard that skeptical scoff!!!

只是看了第一章，‘法’字已经看到腻了。

2009-02-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

La Jolla

Middle-income Chinese people are house-shopping in the USA. Ok, I'm not a middle-income Chinese (meaning China Chinese), but I want a beachfront house in California. If I had the money, I'd buy one on Avenida Chamnez in La Jolla. First I have to become a millionaire.

The simplest things can make your day

2009-02-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

It's Friday the 13th!

Bloggedy-blog-blog.

I'm bored. I have proper things to do but motivation hasn't hit me yet. And the deadline's in about 30 hours. Grrr

Hey! What'll you be doing tomorrow?

And 15th of February is Singapore's Total Defense Day. What about Singapore would I defend with my life? Think, YY, think!

Thisnonsensicalflowofwordsdoesnothingtoimprovemyself.It'sjustthatIwonderwhyIdon'tcomplainaboutmysinglehoodwhileothersdo

Gosh I hate waiting

2009-02-12T15:18:00.003+08:00

shanghai is warm

How coincidental, there's a HK-born Singaporean (from NTU) staying on the same floor as I do! And he's just a door away!

I'm glad to be back, but the sense of familiarity throws me off guard. Because I don't want to go back to how I was in the previous semester. I have to be better (well maybe not the most accurate of words, because that'd imply that I was good in the first sem).

What've I done so far? Unpacked, cleaned up desk, arranged books, arranged wardrobe, ordered water, bought Internet card (here I am), Magicleaned floor, fixed my bike (sent my bike to be fixed)...What a 'fruitful' day. Can't wait for the family to come back!!!! Quick!!! Haha

********

UPDATE: My roomie is back! And so is Shuzhen, my favourite senior of all ;)

Resistance training= jogging in the Shanghai wind.

2009-02-10T20:16:00.005+08:00

a stroky-beard meeting

Hahahaha Eddie Izzard never fails to cheer me up. Or make me laugh even though I'm not feeling down!

Forward to 05:50 and watch from there. The last part is spectacular. Comedy like that is the best, cos' it's so...real! Haha

And this one too, cracked me up!!

Watch from 5:00 onwards-- Jesus recounting his visit to Earth with God :D

(Take it lightly!! Don't go thinking 'ooh, blasphemy.' Blaspher-you!)

2009-02-09T23:44:00.004+08:00

i left my sanity in the yellow car

Almost 5 years ago, I was sitting on one of the many blue office chairs with wheels, in Bytz (the recreation computer lab in NJC), and the idea of setting up a blog popped into my 15 year-old head. Being Lord Of The Rings-crazy, it was unthinkable not to name my blog after something related to LOTR. In case you didn't know, "Unebriwen" is my Elvish name.

Oops, I blinked. And there you go, ithis blog is 19 days short of its 5th birthday. It's been my public-private journal in this crucial development phase of my life. I remember in primary 3 or 4, my Chinese teacher made the whole class write weekly journal entries (in primary 5 and 6, my English teacher did that to us). That felt like a chore. But this is different-- this weblog is voluntary; I take time out of my life, sit in front of a computer, type this out and publish it.

This evening the purpose behind blogging came up. Reason. Motivation. Purpose. What for? Sometimes I feel like this has become a chore too. That's ironic, because no one is forcing me to keep blogging. And we've written it too many times in General Paper in JC-- most blogs, mine being a prime example, writes about nothing but themselves. Complaints, opinions, 'rants', no-one gives a shit but the author. The general blogger doesn't get advertorials, doesn't get paid, because no-one cares and reads their blogs. It's only when someone either a) has passion about a certain topic and blogs about it like crazy, or b) blogs something extremely controversial and becomes famous overnight, or c) posts photos baring loads of skin and photoshopped faces that they actually make a significant impact. Millions of blogs in cyberspace; how many are recognized?

I'm tired. But I will go on. I want to go on. Even if no-one cares, I do. Just flipping to the previous posts stir up crazy emotions. I've changed so much in 5 years (click here to read my first few entries and get a laugh). Things I've done, people I've met are all stirred into this mixing pot that is this blog. So I guess I've got passion: passion for living. And this blog is for you. Esto es para ti (ustedes???). Thanks for sharing.

un beso,

2009-02-08T21:32:00.003+08:00

in too deep

Today I went cycling with my dad. It was fun to cycle on a relatively 'good' bike (as compared to mine in Shanghai) and cycle up and down slopes. I was gleeful as I tested out the brakes because they work so well. Simple pleasures.

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Holding on to the past: Is it an unshakeable memory or is it desperation-induced clinging?

When (do) you let go, there's always the fear that you're exchanging it for something less perfect.

But it's bravery that pushes people forward. It's that holding your breath and plunging in that leads to progress. We cannot dwell in the past. We have to create our future. And hopefully it'll be as beautiful, or even more so, than what we've had.

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I extract myself from the ashes and is born anew

(cheem right jo)

UPDATE: Things are happening so fast, so many doors are opening up for me. If presented with multiple windows of opportunity, can we only choose one? I want to leap through all of them. But that might tear me into pieces.

2009-02-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

just when i thought my Rrs were going well...

I find out they're not! This means harder practice.

"Don't marry someone you can live with — marry the person without whom you can't live." Don't settle for something OK when there's the best. But this means, you either have to consider the prospect or actually go through not being with the person. And what if the best is not available? Then do you go for 2nd, 3rd best?

I have no idea. I'll think about it when I get there I think. That's another few years.

Wow imagine if I'll still be blogging here when (if) I'm married.

2009-02-06T12:16:00.003+08:00

yo tengo una casa bonita

Blame Living Language's Spanish CD for the above title.

My right eye hurts. It started hurting last night, and I thought it'd go away after some sleep, but I woke up this morning and it still hurts. Maybe I strained it. But why only 1 eye??

And I have no idea why I wrote the above.

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Caught Frank Miller's 'The Spirit' in the theatre this afternoon. Gorgeous ladies and lots of pummeling, but boring narration and stale graphics. It is Frank Miller-esque, but I preferred Sin City. Samuel L. Jackson played creepy-crazy Octopus convincingly though. Loving the eye make-up! Who's the make-up artist?

It's been 5, 6 months since I stepped into a cinema theatre. Frankly (no pun intended), I don't miss it that much. Ah, but as always, company counts.

People google funny things. Do you google yourself? I do! I hope there comes a day when I google 'Chang Yuen Yi' and more interesting stuff comes up.

(Don't judge me, I know you do too! And you have googled your name before!)

My right eye still hurts.

2009-02-04T19:48:00.003+08:00

i think...

A recent observation led me to the revelation that the Bible, in saying that the wife should 'be subject to their husbands' (1 Titus 2:5), is right. Mrs X's harsh criticism towards Mr X's style of dressing, actions, products, even his job, just makes her a thoroughly unlikable woman. Sure, Mr X might dress a bit casual while having guests at home; but surely, it is his home, and there is no need to dress up in suit and tie! He might be a bit slow to respond, due to his nature, but that is no reason to mutter behind his back. And to condemn what Mr X has put his whole life into as 'nothing but rubbish' is hurtful and false. Mrs X is lucky to be alive; she wouldn't be if I were her husband.

Likewise, husbands 'should love their wives just as Christ loved the church' (Eph 5:25). And Mr X demonstrates that fully. Patience, tolerance, but not submission.

The above relationship seems to be imbalanced. I want my future marriage (assumption: I will get married) to be a balanced one. Being a scary wife is... a scary prospect.

What a bibley post! (Note: not BIBLICAL. My writing has made it 'bibley' instead of biblical. Jeez, fellas, I know my adverbs! Adjectives! Whatever! Hah)

2009-02-03T11:49:00.002+08:00

early post

Yeah it's early, it's before noon! But before it slips my mind...

The latest shoe-throwing incident. Place: Cambridge University. Occasion: Chinese Premier Wen's speech about the global economic condition. Iraqi journalist-wannabe: Anglo male. Shoe: Sports trainer. Result: Target missed by a yard.

Some form of humour, perhaps? Or is the trend for Spring/Summer 2009 hurling shoes at world leaders? The thing is, while the Bush incident was slightly amusing, this is not funny at all. Calling the Premier a 'dictator', saying his words were 'all lies'; human rights issues? Free speech? Pro-Tibet or pro-Taiwan? Whatever the case, the fact that the Chinese audience present applauded their leader after Premier Wen calmly condemned the act and continued shows that the Chinese fully support their leaders, and that's all that matters. That Anglo male just seems desperate for some attention, while lacking creativity in all totality.

2009-02-02T21:33:00.002+08:00

conquistador

Death gives birth to life. With death, we are born anew.

(and that's what I got from new-agey movie 'The Fountain'.)

In the roller-coaster ride that is Life, each of us get 1 ticket, 1 go. We jump in, we take the ride, bound by certain limits, but overall we can choose to scream, laugh, cover our eyes...then it's over, blink of an eye.

But...

Are there those who can hop on again, a second go?

(Why question the absolute)

El fruto del silencio es la oración.

El fruto de la oración es la fe.

El fruto de la fe es el amor.

El fruto del amor es el servicio.

El fruto del servicio es la paz. (Madre Teresa de Calcuta)

The fruit of silence is prayer.

The fruit of prayer is faith.

The fruit of faith is love.

The fruit of love is service.

The fruit of service is peace. (Mother Teresa)

The answer is right there. Something wonderful awaits.

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I'm becoming all spacey. So let me get rooted in this: The key of China's economic progress lies in her countryside. 8% growth is not a desire, it's a necessity. With 20 million migrant workers jobless after the Lunar New Year, social unrest is a fearful reality. I, for one, dread how Shanghai will be like soon; there'll most likely be a spike in crime rates, despite local authorities trying to curb the influx of unnecessary migrant workers and creating new jobs at the same time.

Arm ourselves with ma-la spray. Maybe this coming sem, we'll actually have to walk the talk.

2009-02-01T20:32:00.003+08:00

the mandatory toilet shot

Yep the 2 of us in the toilet of Fook Lam Moon restaurant in Tsim Sha Tsui, after our dim sum lunch.
I'm glad to say we had a wonderful day, missed her so much!! Jo, you'll come to Shanghai next k? ;)

At Tequila, the Mexican restaurant. Good food + good company = great dinner.
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It's febrero already! What day is important this month? Valentine's Day, it seems. V-day, v-day. Some look forward to it, others dread it, yet others scorn it as a day made up by florists and chocolatiers and jewelers to earn a quick buck.
To me, Valentine's Day is confusing because I always forget whether it's Valentine's or Valentines'.
Just kidding.
To me, V-day is a day where I can see couples getting sappy, or people feeling down and 'loser-ish' because they haven't got a date. It's a stressful day for everyone! Guys will pray that what they got for their girls are suitable, girls will stress out about looking good AND if their guys will like their present. Singles wallow in self-pity that they are going to spend it alone. Why? Did Saint Valentine want this to happen?
I'm glad to say that for the past few years, V-day has been wonderful, because I spend it with people I care about. V-day is not reserved for people in exclusive relationships, it's a day for friends too. And this is something I truly believe in. Everyday that you spend with someone/people you love becomes Valentine's Day.

To close, a shot of us, high. Yesterday was Valentine's Day.

2009-01-30T22:28:00.002+08:00

the ultimate socialism

To those who read this in the morning,

Thanks for making me a part of your day's beginning. It's a beautiful gesture, and may my words buoy you up and carry you along the breeze that brings sunshine, warmth, green pastures and dew (Ignore the rain or overcast sky. YOU make your day.)

To those who read this before they sleep,

Thanks for letting this close a fruitful day. And I hope your slumber will be soothing, relaxing, easing you into a world where everything, anything can happen. Those few hours of perfection. Dulces sueños.

And to those who read this to fill their time,

I'm glad you invested a minute or two here, an important segment of the 24 hours in a day, time that can never be redeemed again. I pray that you'll take something from this, and may your day be full of success and smooth-goings.

We're created for one purpose. And then we shape ourselves, we determine who we interact with, who we become, what we gain. Everyday passes by without a break, and we want to go 10 steps forward but we end up going 5 steps back. Things don't change unless we start it ourselves, and self-motivation is the best and the worst force at the same time. We try hard, and not at all. We give our best, but when do you know it's the best? What do we become? What is the result of our lives?

We can't take what we've gained with us when our lives end. Who's going to get that red modified-engine Ferrari? Who'll take your black Doberman? We lose all we've gained on this Earth, and we move on to...

To...

2009-01-29T20:40:00.003+08:00

your subtleties are killing me
i can hardly explain myself at all

I want to type an extremely graphic, emotionally-charged post. But considering my readers, instead of receiving comments such as "Wow! I never knew. How liberal!" or "Glad you finally opened up!", I will get telephone numbers of psychiatrists instead.

So, this post will be another one where your eyes slide over words as though lubricated, not really taking anything in.

A girl stands in the middle of the plaza, licking the vanilla ice-cream cone in her hand. Her tongue grazes the cold smoothness every few seconds, while her eyes are fixed on something afar, the burning intensity of her gaze presenting a stark contrast to her moist and cool lips.

Oh yes I watched a bit of Vicente Aranda's Carmen (2003) yesterday. Ferocious! Paz Vega as Carmen is heat, passion and eroticism with legs. Go go, watch watch!

(Then watch Spanglish. The contrast!)

2009-01-28T19:44:00.002+08:00

(un)breaking

Wanted to upload some photos but the internet is wonky so I'll do it another day.
Happiness = seeing one of my two besties on Saturday :) Sheer delight = seeing both my besties on sábado. Still, me alegro!
Forget happiness. Or delight (sheer or opaque). If my life had a written constitution, countless people have amended it. It's the process of discovering and rediscovering myself and my environment that requires these little changes. But I can safely say that only a handful of people have influenced me to drastically change --even rewrite-- my Constitution.
Man is a social being. No matter how much you think you define yourself, the truth is others define you. Each and everyone of us are moving plasticine balls in this space which is Earth; a collision, and our shapes change forever.

2009-01-26T22:43:00.002+08:00

It's easier to destroy than to create

Ain't that the truth.
What took months, years of hard work, can be killed in an instant. Ages of bliss can diminish into pain within seconds. Thus it's so important to treasure the time I have now, for I this could disappear tomorrow. Time-- a point I've noticed, when you're about to meet someone you love, you'll never be late, because you want to spend as much time with him/her as possible. Every second you're late is a second wasted. Time.
The universal truth
This Chinese New Year was a happy one. Time with a loved one means time well spent.
Indeed indeed

2009-01-25T22:24:00.002+08:00

what is it good for?

absolutely nothing.

You may have noticed a change in blog skin! What with Chinese New Year, Spring cleaning and all, I thought this place could do with a fresh coat of 'paint'.

Goodbye rat, hello ox.

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"I'll take care of you."

"I know. That's why I'm scared."

Yeah, I think that's what Mrs 'Pozole maker', or wife of Santiago Meza Lopez, would say. Who knows when she'll be dissolved.

********

Back to the topic of cleaning. I've got some closets to clean out, several old shoes to throw away, and of course the symbolic hats, tops, underwear... what do YOU have to put down?

It always happens. Before you go to bed, you make up your mind that tomorrow will be a new day, a fresh start. You will stop thinking about ____ every waking moment. You will ____ more/less, you will be more ______, and you will finally get over that ____ you've been crazy about the past month. You will move on.

And then you go to sleep. And when you wake up, sit up, stretch and yawn, rub your eyes... _____ flies right back into your head. And refuses to budge. Ah well, you think, what's another 24 hours? Except after a while, you realize it's 24 hours, then another 24, then another 24.

It's so easy to kid yourself.

2009-01-24T20:21:00.007+08:00

esto es para ti

More Chinese New Year delight.
A bit of my ancestral history: 首姓‘郑’的是西周末年的郑桓公。周宣王公元前806年封小弟姬友于郑（陕西省棫林，今凤翔西劝读村南一带），建郑国，史称郑桓公。如今的新郑（郑州附近）就是姓郑的人的‘祖宗之地’。后来南唐的李后祖为避战祸，把姓变成郑。郑氏最早的发源地在河南淮阳（陈）、开封（启封、大梁）、周口、商丘（宋）交界一带。
Translation (by me): This is a short history of my surname 'Chang' or 'Zheng' (‘郑’in Mandarin). The surname originated from some king's uncle in the Zhou Dynasty in the year 806BC (how cool is that! We're ancient!). The Zheng kingdom was formed in current day Shaanxi and thereabouts. After some time and migration of people, we ended up in current day Zhengzhou--aka Zheng County/State-- so that's our ancestral birthplace! Thereafter, there were other roots of Zheng, such as some prince in the South Tang era, who changed his surname from Li to Zheng so as to avoid death (basically he ran away from the palace and into the woods). Places of Zheng's origins: Henan, Kaifeng, Zhoukou, etc.
****
唐朝末，客家人从中国河南移南，先在福建宁化一带逼难，后来发现耕种生活太艰难，因此又搬到广东居住（例如丰顺）。接下来的几代人，有些继续向南走，走到星马这一带生活。渐渐地，客家的传统习俗消失，客家人变成福建人、潮州人、广东人。。。
Translation (by me again): Now we move on to the Hakka people of China. In the late Tang Dynasty (618AD-907AD), the Hakka people moved south from Henan to Fujian to avoid war strife. I guess someone made a mistake in choosing the Fujian Ninghua area, because they eventually found out that the place was barren and basically a terrible place to live in, so they moved further south to the Guangdong (Fengshun: where my ancestors are from! 15 generations recorded man...cool eh) area. More recently, more Hakka people continued moving down south into Malaysia, Singapore etc. Gradually, the Hakka tradition became diluted and even lost. People who were originally 'Hakka' began to call themselves 'Hokkien', 'Teochew', 'Cantonese'...
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If you have an hour to spare, click here for a love story. Or, read it chapter by chapter to make it last longer ;) Check out the main website too, it's pretty fun and has gorgeous photos!
If that's not love, then to hell with love. i'm keeping this

2009-01-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

igualmente
In preparation of Chinese New Year, my dad bought flowers and placed them outside the house.

Pretty! Do pardon my attempts of capturing the blooms upclose. I was playing with my camera (which froze on me for the nth time. I do need to get a new one).

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Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt

touch

here

********

do asterisks 'italicize'?

nope

brush

here

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"May I suggest, sir, that we raise the bar so that short people can't reach it?"

"Good point, Bates. We'll keep that in mind."

"And if I may be so bold to opine, sir, we lower the floor so that the tall people can't touch it?"

********

Why did Samson love Delilah?

2009-01-22T21:02:00.004+08:00

(shoots i can't think of a title)
What's this??

Haha these are 算盘子！They literally mean 'abacus seeds'. In case you don't know, an abacus is an ancient type of Chinese calculator. Haha
And what's an ancient calculator doing on the dining table (Ok I got to stop the rhetorical questioning)?

算盘子(suan4 pan2 zi3) is a traditional Hakka dish. I asked my dad, and the reason behind them is: money. The abacus was used to calculate money in the past, and I guess my ancestors felt that eating abacus-shaped yam + tapioca flour things would bring them more money. Go figure.
Anyway, it's become a pretty well-known Hakka dish (probably the most well-known), and we're having it in preparation of Chinese New Year! The raw yam and flour seeds are first boiled, then fried with mushrooms, garlic and shrimp.

With some dough left, we made dumplings. Amazingly good. I know I know, I should stop eating so much!!

And garoupa!! Soo... good. My dad bought them off his friend, 3 big spotted peces. Beheaded the smallest one as it was too big to fit in the steamer. Good dinner indeed.
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On TVB Jade (the television channel) this evening, there was a program about seafood during the festive season, and the topic of 'nutrition value' of sharks' fin came up. The host said sharks' fin is full of collagen, and is good for our skin.

JUST WANT TO CLARIFY. Yes, sharks' fin is indeed full of collagen. But point to note: there are many types of collagen, and the type in sharks' fin CANNOT BE ABSORBED BY HUMAN BODIES. What can be absorbed, though, is the MERCURY in sharks' fin. Now, mercury is present in most fishes, but sharks have around the highest amount of mercury (being at the top of the food chain). So when people eat sharks' fin, their skin don't become tighter and beautiful. On the contrary, hair loss, peeling skin, hypertension, kidney failure and memory loss might occur (just to name a few).

Watch what you eat during Chinese New Year! Love yourself!

2009-01-21T20:12:00.009+08:00

Shy?!?!
Having been in HK for almost a week now, here are the limited number of photos I've taken while in this Special Administrative Region with 7 million people.

University MTR station, NT, HK

Langham Place, Mongkok. Check out the CNY decorations! Not as gaudy as the ones along Avenue of stars..

The view of the 12th floor in the Langham Place mall, from...

Caffe Pascucci! Very friendly bald manager (if you look closely you can see him), comfy seats + cushions, and their soy latte is heavenly.

Fast forward to today. I attended my dad's lesson! The topic was 'American foreign policy in East Asia after WWII'. How can he store all those names and dates (!!!) in his head without referring to any notes throughout that 1 and a half hours???

View of HK Island from Kowloon. :)

Personally I think this view is nicer than Shanghai's one of Pudong on the Bund haha!

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Mucho gusto!

2009-01-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

*cough*
Today I saw with my own eyes how a fish can survive on land for more than 1 and a half hours. After being fished out of the river, hooked on the lip, thrown into a net, then onto the gravel road for 30mins, into a styrofoam box that was dumped into the trunk of the car...and it still flaps.
Almost makes me want to go back to vegs. Almost.
Fishing is not my cup of tea. I'll need to find some other bonding activity with my dad I guess.
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Everyone in this part of the world should be up tonight to watch the inauguration of the 44th President of the US of A. I will!

2009-01-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

hello
When I was much younger, I used to have a fascination for lipstick cases. Those Chinese-embroidery fabric lipstick cases with a (sometimes magnetic) button. Open the flap, there would be the small, rectangular-shaped mirror, and the space for a lipstick. The shiny satin cushioned space looked like a mini coffin, come to think of it. Everytime I saw those casings in the shops, I'd open them, always hoping that there would be a lipstick in it. But there never was.
Now that I'm at the age where I have and use lipsticks, I wonder why I don't own a single embroidered lipstick case.
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'Es mejor haber amado y perdido que no haber amado nunca.' (el señor Alfred Tennyson)
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' (Alfred Lord Tennyson)

2009-01-18T22:46:00.003+08:00

谢谢支持环保
在大陆，买东西要塑料袋就得付钱，在香港却没有这种规定。我想，有时政府的法定也好；别说是政府对人民的约束，如果对整个社会，甚至全球有益的话，不妨执行法律。
但这又掀起另一个问题：什么时候维护人们的利益，什么时候保护国家的主权？像以色列对哈马斯恐怖组织 (Hamas) 的攻击，是为了保护以色列平民，但是这是否意味着杀害在加沙里的平民？虽然不是直接攻击平民，但要杀死四名哈马斯恐怖份子，就把联合国人道救援所(UN Humanitarian Aid)炸掉，也伤了几十个平民。保护自己的人民，维护国家的主权，要付出的代价是多少？
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Should I translate that? I should, perhaps, but I won't. With what English terms are in there, the gist is clear. But after watching the Israeli Consul-General on TV defending his country's position, it seemed clearer as to how a government official must act when presenting his country's view. And it looks tough.
********
aburrida

2009-01-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

blue light keeps food fresh
So it's true. Having a time limit makes us treasure what we have more. Be it in Beijing, or Bangkok, or Shanghai, be we Danish, Filipino, Singaporean, Australian, Mexican, American...nationalities don't matter. What does is that everything was real, regardless of how long it lasted.
Another thing is clear-- in 1988, women had way too voluminous hair (Die Hard!).
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Right hand clasping the red and white torch, flame alight. Left hand, wrist-band attached, poised in a wave. A frozen, manic grin on the face.
********
Whenever, wherever, ____________________ --(Shakira)
Estoy aprendiendo español (is that correct?)

2009-01-16T22:48:00.002+08:00

estoy escribiendo
I'm happy in Hong Kong. I'm not happy with myself though. Must have self-control! Especially with food. Grr... and I'm in HK!!
The Chinese New Year (Spring Festival) fever has hit everyone except me, it seems. People are stocking up on goodies and red undies, hogging up queues in supermarkets and shops (by the way, I spotted Horlicks on the shelves!!). Ads display discount after discount, promotion after promotion. I should make good use of this opportunity and stock up on essentials. ESSENTIALS.
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The orchid stalk bends towards the ground, weighted down by the beautiful blooms. Weighted down by beauty. And when the blooms wither and die, the stalk will still be bent; an irreversible change due to gravity.
(And that's why humans came up with bras and botox)

2009-01-15T19:40:00.002+08:00

wheeheehee
Is that you?
Staring at my pink chipped nails; need to get them fixed soon
Feeling sort of warm in HK, as compared to Shanghai of course
Got a sense of foreboding: I will miss Shanghai soon
On a happy note: I did better for Flash than Microsoft Office! Hahaha! Imagine that! Now if I have to go back to Shanghai early, it's not because I have to retake the Flash exam. It'll either be IR or Public Admin
Kick me hard in the shins (or wherever hurts more) so that I will wake up and move on. Because living like that is not living at all.
On the other hand, dreamworld has a certain attractiveness~
"Todo hombre es como la luna: con una cara oscura que a nadie enseña"
Ok I translate the first part to be something like 'all men are like the moon'. Then I have no idea what comes next; 'with'...what? [I'll find out tomorrow]

2009-01-14T16:34:00.003+08:00

Chang 在写文章
Twirl swirl curl hurl. Brrrr. It's cold in here! (There must be some me in the atmosphere!)
In a logical manner, through a sensible approach, using thoroughly scientific methods, I go crazy. Now, that makes perfect sense to me. If you think about it long enough, it will to you too. Like you can see the white dog sniffing at the blue flower.
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If you read the above without thinking I have truly gone mad, congratulations. You understand me and my style of blog-vomit, in which I type whatever floats to my fingers. Usually, it's what catches my eye, for example, my coin pouch-- I can really see the snow-white dog's head sniffing the blue flower. Never noticed it before. Or, if you look at my blog headings (the ones in bold), they rarely have any connection to the post. That's also a blog-vomit specialty. In the pulsing, throbbing, jerking synapses of my brain, they might actually make sense i.e. be linked, connected; but not to you, I don't think so.
Authors like to give readers a sense of belonging, participation, recognition in their products. That's because good authors know that it is recognition that readers crave. That is what drives readers to continue, well, reading. So really, who the *toot* cares about what I (the author) had for lunch, did this morning, felt this whole week listened to purchased whereIwenthowmuchmymanicurecostblahblahblah...? Answer: Not you.
Reader, that's you (yeah you can see my finger pointing out from the screen ala Uncle Sam recruiting US men to shoot terrorists), I applaud you for taking time off to visit this site. I understand that it's because you have nothing better to do (the other window is on Facebook, or was on Facebook, and no one has updated!), and when you click on the URL box to open the drop-down addresses, http://unebriwen.blogspot.com is one of them. Or, you might have googled something like 'NJ Guitar' or 'MOE Teaching Scholarship' or 'Sexy Singaporeans' (ok not that last one) and somehow the search engine brought you here! In which case, you'll probably not read this post. But no matter. Or, you might fall into the category of stalker. Probably not, but how about checking out bryanboy.com instead? Or Perezhilton. More photos, more entertainment, more geewhizslapbangdash sorta news. No, you sure know better sites than my blog. But the reason you keep coming here is because there's a chance you might be mentioned here, but not on perezhilton or BB. And doesn't it frustrate you when I use vague terms like 'he', 'she', 'you', 'that person', 'X', 'Y', 'bocadillo' and YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT'S ACTUALLY YOU? [Oh my goodness I'm so good it hurts]
In any case, you, whatever happens in my life is trivial compared to what's going on in the world (although, I admit, you make my life less trivial). The only reason why I continue to blog is because, well, I'm self-centred and thinks the whole world revolves around me. Twirlswirlcurlhurl. And while I assume that, I also assume that whoever comes into my life is sucked into this me-vortex; naturally, they will be spewed out onto these 'pages' of my blog.
To close: ¿Tiene usted mesa reservada? (Thank you BBC Spanish.)

2009-01-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

word of the day: cabrón
A fruitful day, got geared up for my Spanish-learning. Chanced upon a delightful shop with notebooks and bags and pens. But I showed amazing self-restraint. My wallet has not lost much weight.
Was talking to my friend today over dinner (at Prima Taste, guys! Haha! You're in Singapore and I was having Singapore food!), and really, us 4.something million Singaporeans are so few in number, we should be friendly and welcoming to our fellow nation-folk. We're the limited edition! We're exclusive! Others want to wave our bright red passports! So embrace each other, and don't set fire on one another *points accusing finger at 70 year old Yio Chu Kang man*.
********
Interesting tidbit I came across: Estoy embarazada is not "I'm embarassed" in Spanish. It means "I'm pregnant". Lesson: don't assume a meaning just because the word looks similar. :D (PS: "I'm embarassed" is Estoy avergonzado/a)

2009-01-11T14:38:00.002+08:00

endless
好久没update。这几天，我看着朋友和其他留学生一个个地离开。现在算是孤独的了。奇怪的是，我这么快就想念他们了！
Imagination is a cruel thing. It gives birth to false hope and is the ancestor of disappointment. People who cling onto its figment (what the heck is a 'figment'?) become tainted with 'reading-between-lines' disease and guilt-ititis, to name a few.
Some advice: when your eyes feel heavy, and your vision fades in and out of focus, go to sleep.

2009-01-08T15:19:00.002+08:00

love at first sight
In all hair salons, it is a must to have trashy magazines. Somehow those are the type that will keep the ladies engrossed in fashion and beauty and not notice their horrendous hair until the last minute, when it's too late.
So Ali and I went for a post-exam treat: hair treatment! :D and what else did we do for 2 hours but talk and read trashy magazines?
I came across an article about reincarnation in one. Briefly glanced through it; pretty coincidental as I had been looking up on past lives and souls, metaphysics and such. Can a soul, a universal essence (so it is described), split into different souls? Apparently, the writer of the article believes it is possible. Hence our feeling close to somebody, or thinking someone is familiar, etc; it's because our souls are from the same 'soul family'. And of course there are those 'souls' that reunite and become one-- soulmates, it would seem.
Then there are other beliefs that people reincarnate because our soul is on a learning journey, and until we learn what we have to, our souls will continue reincarnating (in different times, dimensions, planes, bodies, etc). Souls are made in pairs, but our soulmate might not exist presently or in the same plane as us. Or, as another belief suggests, we have more than one soulmate; a 'soulmate' is just someone from whom our soul will learn a lesson from. And for the souls that have graduated from 'Soul Academy', they can return in bodily form to guide their juniors.
Sounds loony? Blasphemous? Vaguely interesting?
Considering the fact that metaphysics is a branch of research based mainly on philosophy, theories, and not empirical, proven, physical evidence, it is so easy to assume that all of it is junk. And this is opposed to fundamental Christianity-- the death of Jesus Christ for all our sins (read: 'Jesus died for us, so our souls have all graduated!'). Then again, Jesus 'rose from the dead' 3 days later.
Debatable, debatable. In my humble opinion, it really depends on what you (want to) believe. If this theory doesn't prove your experiences, you might adapt to find a better one, or change to a whole new belief. Man's consciousness, thought and creativity (imagination) combined differs us from other animals. We create and invent so many things, things that both push us forward, and limit us. The Contradictory Behaviour of Man.
Conclusion? I haven't one. But I know one thing [and that is I know nothing]: there is a limit to my (and everyone of us) understanding, after which, IT still is. THERE, AM, whatever. Something exists, not in our homo sapien, Earthly-way of physical Being. The Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and
The End.

2009-01-06T19:05:00.002+08:00

south-side freeway
India's PM Manmohan Singh said that Pakistan authorities 'must have had' a hand in the Mumbai attacks, Associated Press reported. Note the following sentence: "Reflecting India's security fears, a bodyguard stood barely 18 inches (45 centimeters) from Singh during the entire speech, his eyes carefully scanning the crowd."
When an individual can reflect the 2nd most populous country's (soon to be 1st)
security fears...Interesting imagery.
********

2009-01-05T14:20:00.002+08:00

competitive advantage
I'm done with exams, finally. This is irony: the day I end, is the day the people in Singapore begin!
It's so important to start a year off right. Invading your neighbour's place with tanks and bombs is not starting off right. Killing over 500 people, including civilians, is not starting off right.
It's only been 5 days into 2009. Already, Israel. Russia-Ukraine. Continued collapse of the world economy. Tension between India and Pakistan.
2009 is going to be ____________.
********

I need your feedback. Do we look alike??? Ok, if one photo is not enough, there are plenty on Facebook hahaha! Sorry Elaine! Many people say we look alike!! You think?

2009-01-03T18:16:00.008+08:00

study camp
AKA concentration camp (or the lack of concentration, rather).
For the past week or more, I've been going to a cafe near dorm to *ahem* study. It's a great place, Hannah's, more conducive for reading dreadful politics and public admin textbooks than my dorm room. Plus it has wireless :D

So recently, Alison and Shuzhen joined me. From 9.30/11am/1pm to 7pm/9pm/11pm (depending on who it is) we plonk ourselves on the rainbow coloured sofas, plug in our laptops, order the sandwich combo and start surfing the net.
I mean, studying.
Vicky, the Korean owner of the cafe, knows us by name and she's been giving us free stuff (heheheh). Presenting to you, the (free) raspberry cheesecake! ...or, what's left of it.

Ah yes, what is Alison squeezing onto the cheesecake?

Nestle's Chocolate Flavoured Full Cream Sweetened Condensed Milk (in a tube!) 1371kJ of energy and 7.5g of fats per 100g.

Shuzhen & Alison getting high on chocolate condensed milk.
Liking it very much...

See, this is what happens when we sit in a cafe for more than 12 hrs trying to study. Consuming too much popcorn, fries, oreos and coffee probably contributes to our craziness too. I'm sorry, MY craziness because the other two are absolutely sane.
Oh yes, you can get crazy by sitting next to Eastern Europeans who chain smoke too. Which was what happened last night, resulting in Alison commenting that I 'smelled like a chimney' when I entered our room.
Also, standing out in the cold at 10pm at night waiting for the street food stalls to arrive, to no avail, then walking 10 mins to 'Magic Alley' to get our unhealthy supper (in the cold!) and walking back (in the freakin' cold!) probably drives us nuts as well. Incoherent with cold, anyway.
Anyhow, let's just hope it's worth it, 2nd last exam soon. Otherwise the trips to the toilet with unlockable doors, having to sit for hours in one sitting (no pun intended. really), and getting ogled at by people walking past outside (and having to amuse the 'quite good looking' (according to me roomie) hippy guy who seems to like pointing at his iphone while gesturing madly), and spending all that money on food will be wasted.
It better not be. I want my good GPA!!
********
This post is dedicated to Shuzhen, who is certainly the best and most fun, snow-white skinned, studious going-to-be-a-teacher I've ever met in my 19 years and 12 days on this earth. ;) And to Alison, who had to tolerate my waking up at ungodly hours to shower, then walk around the room noisily while getting dressed and guzzling my water, and finally closing the door with a bang after 1+ hours.

2009-01-03T15:14:00.002+08:00

linger
They exchange a glance. Brief--but mutual--understanding, an acceptance of inevitability. But not defeat.
********
In winter, Shanghai becomes a 'medical personnel' haven. People walk around in long coats that graze the knees, scarves draped around the neck like stethoscopes, hands are gloved, and a finishing touch: the face mask! A variation of what some disinfected Singaporeans wore during the SARS period, these masks come in different colours and sizes--checkered, bright pink, so thick it looks like a potential suffocating device. It must be useful in protecting most of the facial orifices from the cold, but personally I don't like the feeling of inhaling my expired air that is saturated with water vapour. It just makes your face feel colder when you remove the cover. Vogue should do a cover on this eh? 'This season: "Doctor" your winter wardrobe!' Hmm.
********
Public Admin is killing me. Is that legal? 根据《郑元余国人民权利法》第十章第3条，‘其他违反人权的夺命方式包括死于或疯于过度闷、难、长、无聊的教材。’da-da-da da-da-da!

2009-01-02T15:01:00.002+08:00

finally
I spent 24 hours working on my Int'l Relations essay. 5 of those hours were spent sleeping, 3 hours on doing other crap. So I used 16 hours to finish one 4500 word Chinese essay on Indo-Pakistan relations. Woohoo
It's Friday already. Time just seems to have sped past this week, like a manic, crazed maitre'd holding a butcher's knife in one hand and dashing towards the diner while squealing like a stuck pig ('eeeeeeeeee....'). Refer to Stephen King.
Ok my point is that I can't believe things that happened 1 week ago was only 1 week ago. That this whole semester has flashed past and all too soon, I would be leaving Shanghai.
Leaving Shanghai...right now I can't bear to. No, that's not accurate. I just don't feel the need to go home. If I can still remember which shop is next to Watson's in Holland Village, and I remember bus 961 goes to Woodlands, and can still recall the taste of Hokkien mee and Fish-slice hor fun, and I can say 'sibeh sian', I don't see why I have to go back to my country to refresh my memory.
Frankly it's the same regarding HK. People ask me what I'm going to do there for such a long period of time, and I go "I'll see.." meaning I have no idea.
But if you ask me where I want to go, then, I have no specific answer either. I think, it's really about the company you're with. When you're with people you love and feel happy with, time is not restricted by seconds, minutes, hours. You can slow it down, savour it, roll it around your mouth and feel it. You can freeze time and embalm it in your memory. You can speed it up and experience the exhilaration rushing past your soul. In a way, we can control the products of time-- destroy it, change it, store it until we diminish into infinity.
My view, anyway.
Man, being creatures with unlimited desires, have sought after everlasting life; in other words, unlimited time. Assumptions aside, having all the time in the world is not such an attractive prospect. It's when there is a limit, a certain deadline after which we know nothingness exists, that we treasure what we have. And wish we had a time machine to go back into the past to relive over and over and over again.

2009-01-01T12:08:00.003+08:00

sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me
Let's have a look at how countries around the world ushered in the new year, shall we?
1. In Bangkok, 60 were killed and over 200 injured in a blaze that destroyed a popular nightclub.
2. In Mindanao, Philippines, a grenade wounded 22 New Year revellers.
What a blast, eh?
3. In Singapore, PM Lee warned of job losses in the year ahead as the world entered economic recession.
4. On the other hand, some Malaysians welcomed 2009 with a raunchy, risque beach party! Well, it was rumoured anyway.
5. In the Middle East, Israel rejected the Gaza truce, and pressed on with the air assaults. Hamas defiantly vowed to 'fight until the last breath' and 'defeat those tanks'.
6. Cuba celebrated the 50th year of Communism. Some cheer there~
7. UPDATE: Russia has cut gas supply to Ukraine (at 0700 GMT on 1 Jan 2009, to be precise). And 'all responsibility lies with the Ukrainian side', according to Gazprom's CEO Miller.
2009 is looking ____________.

2009-01-01T00:22:00.005+08:00

i started 2009 with stars in a gradient sky
To those who want greater achievements in their work or studies,
Or those who desire to gain wealth in terms of knowledge and pockets,
To those who wish for love and happiness,
Or those who pray that the new year will be as good or better than the one before,
May you have the wisdom, perserverance, courage and blessings to fulfil your goals.
Happy 2009.

A toast to the New Year! HAHAHA

2008-12-31T01:38:00.002+08:00

2008年的最后一天
After studying Foundation of Politics and Public Administration for what, 3 days non-stop?, I have come to some conclusions regarding Chinese textbooks:
1)Read the headlines, and the conclusions. The bits in the middle are just copy and paste of one another, with a few words switching places so they look like it's different content.
2)Do not try to understand the logic/reason behind the arguments.
3) Marx and socialism ROCKS. Capitalism sucks.
If I write 'I love Marx' in my exam, do you think I might get a mark or two more?
********
2009. Un beso. For honey-sweetness and stars that fill up the sky.
[To be continued]

2008-12-30T15:13:00.002+08:00

sometimes it's going to rain
Today, after a few days of wet weather, the sun decided to make an appearance!
Ok just want to talk about something that happened on Sunday, during the Flash exam. I overheard an international student whining to other international students about the Excel exam the day before. "Are any of you going to complain about the exam yesterday?" she said in English.
"Yeah, it was difficult huh!" some others replied.
"No! The thing is, I, and I believe I speak for all of the liu xue sheng (int'l students), spent most of my time trying to figure out what the question was about!"
A scatter of "Me too!", "I know!" etc agreements.
"I mean, back home I got 20 points for Excel; that's full marks, like 100 marks here. So it's not that I don't know how to do it, it's that I don't understand the question! I think everyone generally agrees that Word and Powerpoint are easier, but not so familiar with Excel! This is so f***in irritating!"
I continued listening while she kept whining.
"And it's unfair. The int'l students who are ethnically Chinese will do better because their Chinese standards are better than ours [gestures to herself and the Nepalese students around her]! So it's really not f***in fair if we fail!"
Hmm. Ethnically Chinese huh.
I see her point. Ethnically Chinese people are more likely to have more exposure to their language and culture from young, despite living out of China (like me, for example). But her widesweeping, general, presumptuous remarks got on my nerves.
1. If you really are so pro at Excel, spending more time deciphering the question and having less time to complete the exercise will be about as fair as those who spend less time understanding and not knowing how to complete the exercise.
2. Not all ethnically Chinese people can speak Chinese better. Just look around the dorm-- so many American-born Chinese don't speak a word of Chinese! They just have the yellow-skin, almond eyes or whatever else stereotype of Chinese.
3. And vice-versa! There are so many Anglo-Americans, Africans, etc non-Chinese people who speak Chinese better than I do (granted, not a very good comparison).
4. Last point. You come over to China, you know that the exams are going to be in Chinese. Prepare for it, for goodness sake. What, you want the teachers to translate it for you?? Then maybe you can get your '20 points'.
********
And another note, sort of related to the above: what's with some int'l students from a certain country and their rampant and pretty blatant cheating during exams?
********
If all goes well, March 2009 could be as fantastic as pancakes with honey ;)

2008-12-29T10:54:00.003+08:00

backstreet
Last night I had a dream, I was having dinner with my family at home, and my mom started singing "Joy to the world...", and all of us started singing together in a beautiful chorus! Christmas is over, but praises to Him can be sung anytime, even in my sleep. Hahaha
********
1.Russia's threat to cut gas supply to Ukraine is a 'psychological war', a retaliation against Ukraine's govt supporting Georgia in August. But demanding Ukraine to pay off the debts just looks like a moneylender threatening to burn your house down or something. An image of hundreds of pig's heads flying from Russia to Ukraine flashed in my mind for an instant. How bizarre; I must remember that only Singaporean moneylenders do that.
The most unhappy people out of this, I think, are the gas executives from both countries who've had to cancel their holiday plans to cut this deal. Say goodbye to Bali and Maldives and Cancun, fellas, you're back in the boardroom.
2. Israel's actions against Hamas in Gaza. One word: again? Seems like cease-fires are more like 'pause-fires'. Shells and rubble must be common playthings for the children in that region. Who benefits from this? Israel? Hamas? Palestinian president Abbas? The US? Or the makers of bombs and guns?
********
Went out with the family for dinner last night, and had a good chat at Dairy Queen over Blizzards and strawberry smoothies and petite sundaes (on a Sunday!). Alison commented that I was 'de-cynicalized'. Indeed, a month ago if one asked me about 'the one' and what I thought about spending the next 64 years with one person, I'd have said 'Come on, don't be ridiculous!' But, people change, unfathomably so, and right now I like where I am, regardless if it only exists in my dreams.

2008-12-28T17:20:00.002+08:00

wet, wonderful day
0100: The sky is tinged a brownish-purplish-black. Raindrops seem to be falling from the lighted lamppost and onto their jackets and the ground, creating a symphony, as if an orchestra surrounded them while they held each other tight, bathed in an orange glow. Inhaling each other, breathing in sync. Unwilling to let go, praying that this moment would last an eternity.
0200: Walking on the pavement, ignorant of the countless puddles she is stepping on, her tears roll down her cheeks and join the tears from heaven. But she has a smile on her face, not due to happiness, but to joy. It's a revelation, one she's been waiting for the past few weeks. She thanks God.
0700: Her eyes open; she cannot sleep. It's the same day, but it's like a whole new beginning. Memories rush back, the same ones that have been waking her up and accompanying her as she slips into blissful slumber for, how many days has it been? But there is no good in dwelling in the past. Her future beckons. Outside, it's still raining.
0900: She contemplates picking up her phone to send one last message. She changes her mind at the last minute, and puts the phone down. It stays quiet.
1045: A silent prayer for safety.
1200: Lunch time; she has not eaten anything since the morning before, no wonder she felt dizzy the whole morning.
1500: Time for something ridiculous; thankfully it ends quicky.
1545: Plugs her headphones in; it's still the (his) song from the night before; quickly she changes it.
1700: It's dark. And still raining.
********
I'm so transparent, but who is it meant for?

2008-12-27T11:19:00.003+08:00

love's intoxicating and i need the abuse
(Swimming in my abyss of insecure blue)
The girl closed her eyes and dreamed of a wise, ageless man with intelligent brown eyes. He opened his mouth to speak. "Believe in this, and only this: Everything becomes clear when you rationalize. Right now you are capable of loving no one but yourself. You do not cry in sorrow because the little flower has withered and died; you cry because it does not provide you with beauty anymore."
********
Someone explain to me why we have to learn Excel in Chinese when I have no idea what 函数、数据表、单变量求解 etc are. Booooo! When I'm stressed my palms feel sticky all the time and there's a constant ache on my right shoulder/neck muscle area. Can't wait for 5th Jan to arrive.
(Then again, the past was pretty amazing too)
~~~~
The end is near. The beginning follows closely behind. Embrace eventuality. Treasure truth. A new dawn.

2008-12-26T15:36:00.002+08:00

bluebirds in spring and shivering hands in winter
3 down, 4 to go. Why Excel and Flash??? Why?? Why??
********
The other day the subject of African politics came up, and I wonder why we know so little about it. In fact, other than Asia, I can't say I know much about the politics of other continents (maybe 'Asia' is already too broad. Ok, Asia-Pacific then). So why do I know so little? Lack of interest and familiarity? Or just pure laziness? I really should focus on another area. Maybe South America ;)

2008-12-25T10:16:00.002+08:00

Haha!
1. The Singapore Flyer has apparently gone into hibernation for this winter. I didn't realize the enormity of this event until I saw that it had made the 9pm news in Shanghai, right after the clip on the Guinean coup.
2. The Batman movie 'The Dark Knight' will not be screened in Chinese cinemas due to 'cultural sensitivities'. No problem, the DVDs have been available everywhere since months ago.
3. UN General Assembly Resolution condemning the human rights situation in Myanmar: 80 in favour, 25 against, with 45 abstentions. Brunei Darussalam, Lao People's Democratic Republic, Malaysia and Vietnam joined Myanmar in rejecting the draft resolution; Indonesia, Philippines, Singapore and Thailand quietly abstained from voting, while Cambodia was absent. Go ASEAN! (Interesting note: China voted against the draft resolution too)
Have a great Christmas! :)

2008-12-24T15:24:00.002+08:00

what good is love when it goes and takes its toll on us
This is a story of a little girl, who finally noticed something that had been in her front garden for quite some time. "Why hadn't I noticed that before?" she wondered. She went forward, picked it up. Some dirt had clung onto it; she brushed them off with her chubby gloved fingers, and the pale golden colour shone through. The evening sun reflected on its surface, and the sunset gleam danced and sparkled on the girl's face. A brilliant smile illuminated by the wintry golden rays.
We pause a bit. Do you want a happy ending, where the girl thanks God for flowers and trees and little bunnies and for this object that she desires and which she now possesses? Then it would be a fairytale, existing only in the worlds of young children, and in the cruel imaginations of writers who weave such perfect tales.
Or do you want a realistic ending? This girl has finally found what she has longed for. And she has the time of her life with it. But time is twisted, and so is the world that the little girl and you and I live in. And while she sits on the green grass enjoying herself, a car pulls up and stops in front of her house. A strange man steps out of the car, sees the object in those little fat hands, then sticks out his own white, thin one. The girl doesn't want to let go and return the object to its rightful owner, but she knows doing so would bring dire consequences. And hadn't Mother taught her to be unselfish and responsible?
With a trembling hand, she brings it to her lips, kissing it lightly for the last time. Quickly, she drops it onto the man's palm and flees to the safety of her home.
The man drives away. The sun has set; it is now dark. Through the frosted glass windows we see the hazy outline of a lighted Christmas tree in the living room. Sounds of laughter and cheer float up into the night, as families gather in the warmth of the dining room to have Christmas dinner.
Outside on the empty street, it is quiet, save for the rhythmic chirping of nighttime insects coming out to play.
And what of the little girl? We will find out.
Merry Christmas.

2008-12-23T15:04:00.002+08:00

best birthday
It was a wonderful closure of the 18th year, and an even better beginning of my 19th. Thank you.
Memories fade, but not those you desperately want to cling onto. Those, you change with your mind, such that they fit into the hollow in your head and your heart where it belongs. There it will stay, a bittersweet aftertaste, that emerges once in a while and leaves a lingering sensation at the back of your mouth. You can almost feel it once more.
(Hellogoodbye)

2008-12-22T15:39:00.002+08:00

in the middle of a parking lot
Title: My first snow sighting
Characters: Me, Leon, Security guard, Korean friend

Scene 1: Standing next to my bike, with Leon bending down to pump air into his bike tyre (and mine, haha)
Me: Oh my gosh it is so freakin' cold today.
Leon: (after pumping air, squeezes tyre to check) Is it ok already?
Me: Yeah should be. Hey wait-- IS THAT SNOW????
Leon: ...This is the most unromantic place to see my first snow.
Me: (laughing) Don't remind me!! (still disbelieving, turns to the security guard) 下雪吗？？[Is it snowing??]
Guard: (mumbling)...雪花... [...snow bits...]
Me: (burst out laughing and jumps up and down) Snow! Snow! .... They look like tissue bits

Scene 2: Cycling outside Guanghua Lou
Me: (sticks out tongue) I want to taste snow, like in all those movies.
Leon: (laughing) Childish! (swats snow from his face)
Me: Wah so fast irritated by it already ah.
Leon: Look at the locals, they don't seem to care!
Me: I think after awhile we won't care either..

Scene 3: Outside 6th building
Leon: (holding camera, trying to capture a shot of the snow) Cannot see leh...Need a darker background
Me: (sticking out tongue again) Eh how come don't have one?? Land on my tongue!!!
Leon: Maybe take video...(sees Korean friend) 你好！[How do you do?]
Korean friend: 哦，你们好。不上课吗？[Oh hello, how do you do? Aren't you going for class?]
Me: 我们在看雪！[We're looking at the snow!]
Korean friend: 哦，雪。[Oh, snow.]
----End----
Felt a bit noob and touristy for jumping up and down, clapping my hands and cycling with a wide grin on my face. But what a beautiful way to end my 18th year. :D

2008-12-21T13:11:00.002+08:00

mousse
Sometimes I do things that I regret after. That's common, but the important thing is that I repent, learn from it and never commit the same act again.
It's so easy to say, though, but the fact is sin exists everywhere, especially inside us, and when we ask for forgiveness, is it sincere?
********
Thanks to the people for joining me for dinner last night, and hope you had as much of a great time as I did. My 18th year has truly, truly been a wonderful, brilliant year. I pray that I will enter my last teen year smoothly, and have the courage and ability to face whatever challenges might come my way.

2008-12-20T09:23:00.002+08:00

stand-up
Controversy captures readers. Sensationalism seduces and entices; it demands, and is given, attention. What differentiates greatness from mediocrity? Is it measured by the amount of attention something receives? This reminds me of a GP passage we did last year on the 'new form of payment'. Too radical an idea was presented in that passage, but it did have some logic behind it. It explains why girls doll up and boys bulk up and everyone just competes to see who shouts the loudest and gets looked at. Appearance, behaviour, actions-- they define the way a person wants to be seen. Image again.
Image, imagination. I believe there are not many people on this earth who can face the world without putting a mask on. We see what others want us to see. The society we live in is filled with falseness; truth cowers behind the layers of lies.
********
Yesterday before computer class Wei Xuan was commenting on how my Chinese is improving (thanks Wei Xuan!). And she suggested that I translate everything I blog into Chinese/English. Hmm. How would I translate the above? I don't even know how to start. Haha

2008-12-19T09:15:00.002+08:00

Christ is the reason for this season
Eunice sent me a Christmas e-card (thanks girl! :D )with this very meaningful quote (points above). No, not my ceiling, silly, the words in bold. The title.
Indeed it is. Therefore, the presents as listed in the previous post (points below) will be for my (materialistic) 19th birthday and not for Christmas. For Christmas is a time for joy and being with the family (lucky folks who can), and to thank Jesus for being born to die for us.
And He didn't go "Now you owe me one..."
********
Yesterday I had a great time with Elaine and Wei Xuan. Now I am a member of Sephora! *claps in delight* For those who don't know, Sephora is a 24-hr makeup, perfume, cosmetics etc store that one can't get in Singapore. Haha. It's sort of like the Changi Airport cosmetics places, same expensive stuff, many famous brands (including Sephora's own line) but no MAC and Anna Sui though. I am not planning to bankrupt myself buying Givenchy and Guerlain and Estee Lauder and Dior, but it's just nice to know the place is there when I need it.
So at 2am in the morning if I am in need of retail therapy, I will go there to buy moisturizer and sea-urchin head mascara.
I. Am. Kidding.
Seriously though, who thought up of having a 24-hr cosmetics store? It's not like 7-11 at all. What is the percentage of the population who will have a lipstick craving at 3am in the morning? "Oh my gosh, I can't sleep, and I know why!! I need that Revlon in #02!" First of all I am guessing that more than 80% of Sephora's customers are female. And in the female population, maybe around half use makeup regularly. So just exactly how many of these make-up-using-girls wake up in the middle of the night to buy cosmetics?
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I'm done. I'm done. I think.

2008-12-17T20:25:00.002+08:00

2 down, 5 to go
After 2 rather bleh exams today, I am feeling much happier because my next paper is on Boxing Day. And because strawberry season has arrived, I can look forward to sweet, delightful strawberries everyday :D Can one overdose on strawberries? The red and the green makes them perfect Christmas season fruit.
(Strawberries remind me of how we dipped them into chocolate in IP 1 or 2 to sell. Remember the chocolate fondue? That was so much fun)
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Here is my way-too-ideal birthday/Christmas presents list:
1. 212 Men by Carolina Herrera :)
2. A bag with a zip that I can bring to class without anything being pickpocketed from it in the process
3. Blood-red lipstick
4. Horlicks
5. LG KS-20 accessories e.g. headphones, mini SD card
6. wow you actually bothered reading?
7. Earrings
8. Materialistic, eh
That's all I can think of so far, in order of importance. Gotta love me for being relatively easy to please, instead of asking for 'world peace' or 'straight As'.
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Tomorrow I will study Chinese.
No one cares!

2008-12-16T11:59:00.002+08:00

bruised knee
I have tons of shit to memorize and then forget after the exam. If I could write a letter to the 2 most important men in my life at this moment, this would be it:
Dear 作人 and 鲁迅,
Why did you have to write so much???? It's quite healthy to have other hobbies, such as hunting, or free diving, or trying to fly, or whatever activities that will put your lives at stake. Writing is so dull compared to those above mentioned hobbies! See, you pick up your pen, then you want to light a cigarette, so you have to put your pen down (cos you light with 2 hands). Once you're smoking, you have to take care to not let the ash fall on the paper! How irritating is that. No, no, PLEASE DO continue to smoke; I know how you 知识分子(intellectuals) like to put on that debonair attitude of the 1920s. Image is important.
Back to my point on not writing. You write and write, but think!!! You're killing all those trees that provide you with paper! And you write on and on about supporting the 女师大、condemning the ‘四一二’大屠杀...bravo. But you hypocrites! You're not 伟大 at all! You environment killers! Oh yes, don't forget the paper needed to publish your works. And what's up with starting so many 月刊 and whatever 刊s?? They all fold in the end.
Frankly, it would do everyone a lot of good if you put down your pens, and went out to JUST DRINK TEA AND LOOK AT FLIES AND VEGETABLES. No need to write about them (this is directed at you, 作人). Then, I wouldn't have to do so much now. Yes, I am selfish, but I'm doing it for the sake of my peers who are trying to study their College English which is more practical than knowing about your （初恋）first love, innit?
Oh yes, another point: IT IS EXTREMELY CHILDISH TO CRITICIZE ONE ANOTHER ON PAPER AND IN ESSAYS AND REFUSE TO TALK FACE TO FACE. We all know you two had a bad fallout, but honestly?! It's personal; keep it that way. Only primary school kids do the 'I don't want to talk to you anymore', 'Help me tell A that he sucks', 'You go and tell B that he sucks too' things. Be a man (or rather, be the men!)! Do the right thing: challenge the other to a duel. Fight to death!
Whatever. Writing this letter has taken up a lot of my time that I should have spent reading you both's products of boredom. Gotta hate you guys, man.
No love, YY.

2008-12-14T16:27:00.002+08:00

400th post, and addicted to Taylor Swift
When the sun goes down, my spirit does too. I am sensitive to sunlight; it keeps me happy.
(Dublin Sky- Darren Hayes (How many ways can I study the playback))
The things you put on your blog does not truly reflect you. It is just a representation of what you want others to see of you. Reveal a bit too much, and then it bites you. Therefore I cannot write what I truly feel. I cannot afford to be like a good government: transparent. And I am not gifted in writing riddles; plus I feel riddles confuse instead of enlightening. Which is the point of riddles, is it not? To make people guess what you mean. And you can't make riddles too muddled up, or no one would understand. And that wouldn't help the writer, who wants to get his/her message across without being too obvious about it.
I am the ultimate confuser.
Ok really go listen to Dublin Sky.
I didn't know how it could get better than that.
It didn't.

2008-12-13T15:47:00.002+08:00

harvest moon
May I know the reason behind the fullness of the moon? And why the strong gusts of wind blow bicycles down, yet the moon still stays so firm and still?
The leaves bow in submission to the tyrant wind. Man bend their heads and shy away from his(her) mighty presence.
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He pushes the bike along the pavement. The incessant scraping noise from the front wheel annoys him, but he has yet to discover how to solve it. Meanwhile, he'll tolerate the stares from passers-by who surely are thinking, "Why doesn't he fix that junk?"
Where is he headed? This question torments me too, dear readers, for I have no clue. It's up to him to choose the path of his life. These fingers fly across the keyboard, guided by an essence-- his essence. His life spirit.
We proceed.
He keeps his frozen (fish) fingers on the bike handles. The knuckles have turned a greenish-white, due to overexposure to the freezing temperature. Why did he not bring his gloves? He knows the answer to that. But he does not tell me.
Move along.
The hood obscures his side vision. To glance to his left, he has to turn his whole head at least 150 degrees. Even then, his head turns, but maybe not the hood; hence, he has a view that is partially obscured by the brown polyester of his jacket.
We stop here.
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This is the result of spending the whole day on an essay on 中国改革30年。

2008-12-12T10:15:00.002+08:00

finally, i'm on track. i hope
Today I finally followed my roommate's good example of drawing up a study timetable. I know, I know, it's long overdue but hey! at least I've done it. Now, to follow it is a totally different matter... haha
I'm looking at it now and I see disgusting words like 周氏 and 考试, 复习 and 2章 etc. But I'm glad I have less than a month before I'm in HK!
And I really want to go to Phuket after CNY. Please? Please? My skin is so dry it's cracking. I need seawater. And my lungs are shriveling up due to lack of exposure to nitrogen. And my spine is curving because I haven't carried a tank for so long. I miss flip-flop tan lines, red cheeks due to sunburn and not to blush. I don't miss the seawater hair though.
Now, I need my figure back. Probably going swimming next week! :D at an indoor swimming pool near dorm.
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I've got a New Year Resolution: learn Spanish. Actually it's a 2-year resolution: to master Spanish by Shanghai Expo 2010. I really hope I can accomplish this. Cross my fingers! Practice my 'Rrrr's!
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Someone's birthday coming up soon... ;) Jesus'! Hehehehe (those people protesting "No, he was actually born in March!" blahblahblah, shut it.) Seriously though, I miss Horlicks.